create a story contestMy great-grandfather used to tell me, "Don't chase after ferrets because you'll only end up with a vacuum in your butt cheeks." I never quite understood his advice until one Abraham Lincoln's birthday, I was gardening with my best friend Professor Henrietta Birdnipple. All of a sudden, we found an underground tunnel! It was full of hair and toenails and old corn chips and spooky sounds came from deep within. Professor Henrietta Birdnipple saw something interesting inside, jumped in, and I never saw her again. Great-granddaddy was right!